One more time. Lets have a look at those cowboys. Why is it, that cowboy’s butts drives me nuts. Why is it, cowboy’s bulge in the jeans, will create a scene, with me?

Where did my love for jeans come from? Was it from the flower power during the sixties when jeans became the thing to wear? The gay clones in the seventies? They all wore white t-shirts and jeans. Then when I came out, looking at the gay magazine, the jeans was still in.

Then to see Brokeback Mountain, which touched a nerve in me. I can recall when very young, trying to talk to other guys my age, to get them to be the “best friend” but never worked til I came out in the eighties. Just like the movie, I had to deal with all my shit, so I can relate to Ennis. However I manage to keep moving forward the best I was able to just like Jack. I did not allow myself to stay stuck in the past. I allowed my fetish to be expressed as torn jeans with pride along with my gay pride.

But how many other guys are there who live like in Brokeback Mountain? Always hiding in the bushes while the rest of us are out of the bushes naked and having a great time.

Always try to keep taking one step at a time forward the best way you can.